Really? REALLY???? This is what is making all of the non-readers pick up a book and read?? PUH-LEASE! I haven’t read anything quite so horrifyingly cheesy in a long, long time (still trying to erase that one and only Jackie Collins novel I was stuck reading back when I was 19 years old)!
Summary in the words of Derek Zoolander: Christian Grey is really, REALLY, ridiculously good-looking. He is also rich, fashionable and a well-known business man. He must work out, I mean look at him, he is beautiful, like, really, really beautiful. But his beauty is a mask– he has a past and it has made him messed up, so very, very messed up! By chance he happens to meet the young, beautiful, Anastasia Steele (wow! that sounds like a model’s name)! She knows nothing about fashion and nothing about his world. I mean, she has never even felt attracted to any man. But, when you meet Christian Grey, there is chemistry, not like the kind of chemical you use for a facial peel, but the sexy kind. Ms. Steele is like a piece of cloth, waiting to be made into a billowy robe, ready for the cat-walk. From virgin to porn queen in 2 days time– that is what Eau de Christian Grey can do for you too! *whispers* Grey is the essence of sex! Sex is the essence of porn.
Ok– it was just bad but (again) I must admit this isn’t my normal style of book. It was a TOTAL romance novel with some erotica (read PORN) stuck in. Not to say the sex wasn’t… interesting… but you had to get thru too much of the hum drum, he loves me, he loves me not, poorly written drivel to get to the hot spots. And even then the cheesocity of the dialogue and occasional tampon throwing was a turn off. Don’t buy into the hype– E. L. James is already making a million dollars a week. Pop in a porn and skip this one!! No sequels for me! 1 star.
“Pop in a porn and skip this one!!”
There’s a reccomendation you don’t read very often!
This is the first negative review I’ve read of this book. Because I never bothered to read any other reviews.
I’m proud of you.
Right eh Steph? We are just very thankful to Jackie that she took one for the team and now we can skip it and trust that this was a very wise decision! 🙂
Definitely more fun writing the review than reading it! God- awful!
Ok! This review from Goodreads is freaking HYSTERICAL and spot on! She goes on to review the other 2 in the same fashion so now i am caught up on the whole story!! There is even a Zoolander reference! Ha! Ha!